True confession.
I failed big time last week :(.
I received news that I did NOT pass my coaching certification oral exam. I’ve failed many times through my lifetime, but this one felt like a gut-punch—more than I would have expected. As a business leader, I’ve purported ‘embracing failure’ as something we should do more of, but in my own moment I was struggling to do so. I sulked longer than I wanted, and soon realized this was less about not passing the exam–mentally I know that I can buckle down, and eventually pass–it was about me being wrong. Wrong about my presumed competence. About my high marks in class being an indicator of my success. About my post-career coaching aspiration. About how I handle rejection.
So why am I sharing this with you?
1. Get outside my own head: Like an athlete right after committing an error “forgets about it” and instantly refocuses on the next play, I want to rebound from my setback more quickly. Sharing openly is my way of improving my own mental fitness.
2. Take my hand off the proverbial “hot stove”: the stimulus has been received, and further pain signals aren’t serving me well. The caption photo was taken the day I received the disappointing news. I was out to lunch with my family, not feeling great about myself, and snapped the photo. Later, I notice the Babe Ruth quote in the background, as if Someone was trying to tell me to acknowledge failure is part of success! Message received. Started to feel better already.
3. Lower the temperature: My hope, in this world of social media bragging rights, sharing a failure or two might make it more ok you and me to fail occasionally.
4. Hold myself accountable for resetting my self-awareness, and recommitting publicly my resolve to pass the certification. I’m already taking some new steps toward the goal that will make me even better in the long run, which wouldn’t have happened without the failure.
Failure is an option. If we learn from it!